7 Lessons I Learned In 2022 On How To Make Your Relationship Stronger

2022 was a year rich with learnings for me in my marriage. The main difference compared to other years is that, in this past year my husband and I faced bigger challenges together which helped us grow deeper and stronger as a couple and individually.

 

Here are 7 of my key learnings:

1) Know how to resolve conflict

Conflict is inevitable and knowing how to resolve conflict is the single skill that will "make" or "break" your relationship. Too much arguing is the #2 reason for all divorces in the US which is preventable if you know how to fight.

  

2) Learn your partner/spouse's triggers and past hurts

The more you know about your partner/spouse triggers and past hurts, the more you'll understand why they are the way they are, and the more you can empathize with them and build safety. Empathizing with your partner/spouse, and being careful with their wounds, is a form of loving them and creating an emotional bond that will grow with time.


3) Know your triggers and work on them

Knowing your triggers and working on them will make you more resilient emotionally, and less reactive. You will also learn where are your boundaries.

When you work on your triggers, you'll have more awareness of yourself and develop the capacity to be with yourself when you feel activated instead of dumping your emotions on your partner/spouse or expecting them to fix how you feel.

4) Support each other through life's ups and downs

Life is like a box of chocolate and you don't know what you are going to get. For a relationship to grow stronger, you need to know how to support each other emotionally and through life's challenges (health issues, loss of a job, finances, career changes, deaths, etc).

 

5) Speak up your needs

I bet your partner/spouse is not a mind reader or owns a crystal ball, and neither does mine. Learning to speak your needs in a way your partner/spouse can hear you is key to building a fulfilling relationship. When you don't speak up, because you don't know how or are afraid, you will feel resentful and continue to spiral down into anger and then contempt.

 

6) Do activities together and also have your own

As a couple, the temptation can be to want to do everything together, especially at the beginning. And while that's great, also make sure that you have hobbies, activities, and friends of your own. Intimacy requires connection and separation.

7) Be a team

Make an agreement to have each other's back, and be collaborative. A strong relationship, and especially if you are living together or married is like running a three-legged race. So it's not about who is right and who is wrong, or blaming or pointing fingers, it's about doing life together. You each have gifts and together you augment each other's strengths.

 

What was your biggest relationship learning from 2022?

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