YOUR PICKER IS NOT BROKEN
your picker is programmed to choose partners
based on your childhood wounding.
Let me explain.
You meet a man and you feel an instant connection,
fireworks and butterflies,
you think you’ve met your soulmate.
Weeks, months later…
you start having arguments and resentments
the other person begins to distance
while you find yourself crying more and more often
feeling desperate, wondering what the f*ck happened.
Can you relate to this?
I know I’ve been there numerous times in the past,
chasing a partner, giving more and more
until I found myself empty.
Finally, the relationship ends.
You feel confused, frustrated, and heartbroken.
Months or years down the road
you find yourself in the same cycle again,
angry, frustrated, wanting things to be different.
Your picker is not broken,
your picker is programmed to choose
based on your childhood wounding.
If you grew up in an environment where:
You felt not good enough unless you did things or performed to earn love
Your feelings were invalidated and learned to abandon yourself
Your parents projected their pain onto you and you are now overly sensitive
You felt abandoned physically and/or emotionally and you now feel anxious when the other person takes space
Do any of the above sound familiar?
If yes, it isn’t your fault.
But if you don’t address this,
the patterns will continue to run and ruin your relationships.
The good news is, you can break the cycle.
The reason I’m sharing is because I spent decades
In a string of failed relationships,
until I did the work to unravel the same patterns in myself.
I discovered that what I thought was love
was unresolved wounds and trauma from my childhood
that I projected onto my partner.
Doing the work hasn’t been easy,
it required courage to look inward,
understanding and compassion to meet the wounded parts in me,
humility to see I’m messy and human,
vulnerability to see myself with love instead of judgements.
But it has been so worthy, and this is why:
You stop defending or reacting, and instead connecting
You stop chasing connection and instead creating it
You stop abandoning who you are and show up as your authentic self
Because the truth is,
The love you are seeking starts within YOU